Mr. Manners Man has been getting
lots of questions lately. Unfortunately, he has been unable to
extricate himself from the drainage culvert he somehow became
trapped in after questioning my conversational skills. The highway
patrol of Montana is said to be examining the entire situation,
but until Mr. Manners Man is freed, we will reproduce below an
excerpt from his latest catechism, "Politesse for the Fourth
Millennium". Questions are always welcome at the address
below.
To what philosophical abstraction is everyone entitled?
An opinion.
What rectal orifice may an opinion be said to resemble by virtue of its universality and bad odor?
The asshole.
What geopolitical reality allows for the free voicing of opinions?
It's a free country.
What sense-function, not linked to those of perception, is it necessary to have when accepting criticism?
A sense of humor.
About whom is it most necessary to have a sense of humor?
About yourself.
What audible emotional expression must a man be ever willing to make in a self-referential manner?
Laughing.
What is the mathematical sum that befalls the man who is unable to laugh at himself?
He is nothing.
What circumstance obliviates the all-well-and-goodness of the Holy Triumvirate of Jokes, Fun and Games?
When someone gets hurt.
What intangible method of displaying one's mindstate is often hurt by laughing and joking?
The feelings.
What financial calculation is rarely extended to the feelings when hurtful comments are made?
Taking them into account.
About what is consideration not duly given?
My needs.
When one is taking the needs of others into consideration, what must it always be remembered costs nothing?
Politeness.
Quote of the Day: "My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world." (George Bernard Shaw)