Yesterday, as I'm sure you know,
was the Ludic Log's 2-month anniversary. Our staff appeared in
Ludic Syndicate Irresponsibility Parades throughout the nation
to commemorate Anniversary Day (I myself was scheduled to act
as the Grand Marshal of the Boston parade, but there was some
unpleasantness; let's just say that there is a substantial difference,
of which I was not informed beforehand, between the office of
Grand Marshal and the office of Field Marshal, and that the appelation
"fighting Irish" is a gross overstatement). The traditional
folk dancing, kickboxing tournaments and eating of the ham-and-Coca-Cola
log were all carried out in the usual high spirits, and thanks
to a generous incentive program of cash and travel bingo cards,
were unmarred by the terrorist attacks that have bothered all
the major public gatherings of the last few months or so.
I personally hope that your celebrations were as enjoyable as ours; in Boston, the surprise appearance at the lighting-of-the-public-relations-executive ceremony of the Wu-Tang Clan was an absolute delight, and to quibble that Halley Eisenberg is a less than vigorous replacement for Ol' Dirty Bastard would be sheer Scroogery. San Francisco added their own unique egalitarian touch to the Anniversary Day ceremonies, choosing to replace the eating of the ham log with a town hall meeting in which the different ways the log does not meet the needs of various segments of the community were discussed. And here in Chicago, a city very close to the hearts of Ludic Syndicate upper management, children were encouraged to unearth the skeletons of Prohibition-era victims of organized crime, and then to inter them again in new locations.
But in the 21st century, the anniversary celebration is truly a global affair, and people around the world got in to the spirit of the festivities. In France, each person in the city of Toulon was encouraged to list at least five ways in which they, or any Frenchman, are superior to the staff here at World Headquarters, and in North Korea (where Anniversary Day is known as "Celebratory Moment of the Counter-Progressive Backslider"), specially deputized and outfitted Zealotry Monitors urge the citizenry to monitor themselves for insufficient ludic fervor and, if they find themselves guilty, to come up with a creative and appropriate punishment.
Of course, as with all
major holidays, media saturation and commercialization reared
their ugly heads. While we appreciate the high profile we receive
from the wall-to-wall media coverage, several members of the staff
thought that Tom Brokaw rooting through our dumpsters was a bit
excessive, and our comptroller would like Mr. Brokaw that he needs
that medication to live. And the attempt to capitalize on the
joy that people feel on Anniversary Day with cheap novelties is
quite reprehensible, and the people at Trojan should be ashamed
of themselves. But these minor trifles aside, it was an incredibly
successful and pleasurable holiday. (And a special note to Ms.
Thatcher: thanks for a lovely evening -- and I mean lovely. But
ain't no way that shorty mine.)
Quote of the Day: "I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I bet I'd be darling at it." (Dorothy Parker)