I would have made a great William
Vollman, but William Vollman beat me to it. After all, I'm demented
and cranky, a good writer and a bad editor, a nifty stylist who
piles image on top of image and stops just short of overload,
an unrepentent postmodernist who makes no pretense of writing
comic books in the shape of novels, and a half-overeducated junk-culture
addict with just enough scientific knowledge to be dangerously
useless. But there's really only room for one William Vollman
in the world, and maybe not even that.
I would have made an excellent Dr. Dre, but Dr. Dre beat me to it. After all, I'm hostile and of questionable sanity, I'm a skilled beatminer but a terrible musician, I play to my strengths but don't know my limits, I'm self-aggrandizing but unconfidant, and I'm a sort-of badass standing in the middle of a vast field of fake badasses and real basasses. But there's really only room for one Dr. Dre in the world, as the inexplicable career of Timbaland profusely illustrates.
I would have made a fine Robert Altman, but Robert Altman beat me to it. After all, I'm acerbic and self-deprecating, I love movies but I hate Hollywood, I've made a career out of being underappreciated, I have a great deal of talent but absolutely no judgement about how or where to apply it, and I'm fat, aging and surly. But there's really only room for one Robert Altman, and frankly, even I'm not dumb enough to have directed "H.E.A.L.T.H."
I would have made a terrific Alan Moore, but Alan Moore beat me to it. After all, I'm creepy and vulgar, I'm incredibly well-read but remarkable uneducated, I'm obsessed with saving a juvenile and underappreciated medium from itself, I'm given to making bewildering and often-misinterpreted pronouncements about my bizarre personal beliefs, and I'm so concerned with aesthetics and so unconcerned with economics that I make disastrous financial decisions. But there's really only room for one Alan Moore, and besides, I don't think I could stand more than five minutes in Dave Sim's company.
I could have been a genius.
But the job was already taken.
Quote of the Day: "Our principal writers have nearly all been fortunate enough in escaping regular education." (Hugh MacDiarmid)