RESOLUTIONS

Copyright 1998 viellamarina@hotmail.com

See, it’s all coming back to me now, where I went wrong.

Certainly hooking up with Cedric -- wait, wait, my conscious choice of Cedric as a companion to me -- could be earmarked as the epicenter of the naturally unnatural disasters that have followed. Certainly anyone could see that. I mean, if I hadn’t hooked up with Cedric, I’d have a car windshield that didn’t have huge cracks crisscrossing across it, which I sit here now, at Toyota, waiting for them to fix.

And it’s my car that is the real victim here, isn’t it? It did nothing. It did simply as I asked it to do; starting when I wished, stopping when I requested. Yet and still, I put it in the path of what must be deemed a crazy woman with absolutely zero respect for it. And it paid the price.

True, better the car than me that received the bashing from that big ol’, massive, wooden battering ram of a Reggie Jackson bat in the hands of the aforementioned crazy woman, but that’s another case entirely, isn’t it?

Why didn’t I figure out Cedric was married? No, actually, the better, more accurate question would be, why didn’t I want to figure out that Cedric was married? Maybe it was Cedric’s own big ol’, massive, battering ram that did it...

Anyway, all the signs were there. Sure, there are those of us humans who are truly social creatures, but would there really be one man who would be: a member of the Masons, a member of a bowling league, a forward on his community basketball team, coach of a kids’ volleyball team, pianist in a jazz combo, a baritone in his church choir, and in his spare time is working on a personal project funded by the National Endowment of the Humanities to bring about world peace?!

Okay, I threw that last one in there, but you get the idea!

I guess... I guess the crush I had on Cedric back in high school never went away, and to see him again still looking so, so, so good and still with those sad brown puppy dog eyes really got to me. It helps that when we first ran into one another I was looking like a superwoman myself, if I must say so myself! I was so happy to finally get rid of that extra 30 pounds. Nothing like coming out of aerobics class at the health club with your heart pumping and juices flowing and looking over and seeing all those sweaty muscle men in the weight room. And what a surprise to see a familiar face...smiling at me...

Which brings me back to the beginning of this little diatribe! I finally figured out what set this whole thing off and why I’m sitting here, missing a day of work, hoping that my little Toyota Corolla can forgive me, wondering if I should believe Cedric when he says he’s going to leave Tonya for me and if that’s what I really want, remembering that in all the drama I forgot to return “The Long, Hot Summer” back to Blockbuster and oh, what a fine that’s going to be!

That 30 pounds I just had to lose! It was a New Year’s Resolution! Now if I had just played it like everybody else and not kept this resolution, everything would have been cool -- my thinking, my emotions, my love life, my car, my Blockbuster account! This coming New Year’s I’m not making any resolutions!

And any fool will tell you that is the only resolution worth keeping! Bah!

THE END

 

 

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