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Rating: PG13
Disclaimer: Voyager and its characters belong to Paramount Pictures. No infringement intended. Spoilers: Resolutions Summary: Kathryn gets a second chance of sorts. Author's Note: Call it AU, call it sappy, I don't care. I didn't like the way Resolutions played out, so sue me. This story won 3rd Place in the Purple Comet Contest. © December 30, 2000 |
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She had been tending her tomatoes, with Chakotay beside her. It had been years since she had been so happy. He asked her to come inside and look at something. It was the plans for the boat he was going to build for them. It would allow them to explore their world together.
And then it happened. A strange sound - it sounded almost like a commbadge beeping. She picked it up in shock, Tuvok's disembodied voice floated out of it and sliced through her. They packed and returned to the ship. The next few weeks were awkward. No, awkward was spilling the soup on an ambassador, awkward was arriving on the bridge without a uniform; awkward was not in the same league with what she was feeling. And she knew it was the same for him.
As the months went on, it became less difficult. The crew had stopped speculating and they were able to relax a little. But the regret was still palpable, and the dreams of New Earth continued. Not every night, as they had at first, but often, and still vivid enough to leave her disoriented in the mornings.
There had been a get-together at Sandrine's that night. Nothing unusual. She and Tom had played pool. B'Elanna and Harry had been there, keeping Chakotay company. Neelix and Kes sat off to the side in a booth. It was almost like old times. Maybe that's why she dreamed again of New Earth.
Kathryn woke the next morning and heard what sounded like someone rattling pans and chopping something. It almost sounded like someone was cooking in her quarters. When she opened her eyes, she saw the dividing panel and her wooden headboard, just as they had been before she left.
She quietly got out of bed. Her communicator was nowhere to be found, and neither was her phaser. Slowly, she walked out of her room and into the main living space.
"Good morning! Grab the plates, I've got our breakfast almost ready," he said without turning around. He was cooking what looked like an omelet in a skillet, and after flipping it over one last time he turned towards her to serve breakfast.
She sat the plates down in front of him automatically, as she had done many times before, but it was all so unreal. Was this the dream, or was the ship a dream?
She arranged the silverware and cups along with the plates, and sat down, while Chakotay poured juice for both of them. Picking at the omelet, she tried to make sense of it all. "Kathryn, you haven't heard a word I've said, have you?" he laughed.
Putting a bite in her mouth, and looking up at him, she realized he must have been talking to her for some time, because her omelet was cold. "I guess I was somewhere else. What were you saying?"
When she looked up, he noticed the dark circles under her eyes for the first time. "What's the matter, Kathryn? Frankly, you look like you didn't sleep last night."
She rubbed her face with her hand and looked around the shelter - their home. "I had a dream we were back on Voyager, but I'm not sure if I dreamed that, or if I'm dreaming now." She put her head in her hands, and then slid her hands up her face and back through her hair, as if that would clear her head.
"You're upset to wake up and find yourself here, instead of on Voyager. I understand," he replied, with a resigned tone in his voice. He stood and began collecting the dishes. "I'm going to work on the repairs again today. The storm really did a lot of damage. I'll need to get some new lumber. I should be back in time for dinner."
Kathryn was still lost in thought until she heard the water running. He was washing the plates when he felt her hand on his arm. Looking over his shoulder he saw the concern on her face. He barely managed keep from breaking the plate when she ducked under his arm and wrapped herself around him. He felt her warm face press against his chest. Perhaps he had misjudged her reaction to the dream? The gentle shaking and trembling of her body as she cried caused him to ache for her. Shutting off the water, he pulled her closer into his arms, and placed a light kiss on the top of her head. "Kathryn, do you want to tell me what's going on?"
She didn't look up; instead she burrowed her face deeper into his chest. She sighed deeply, "You were showing me the plans for the boat. Tuvok hailed us on the communicators. Voyager had returned for us with a cure. We were going to be rescued."
"I didn't know what to do," she said in a desperate tone of voice. "I couldn't think of anything to say, so I thanked him and we started packing. I wanted to scream, but we didn't say a word to each other. We kept packing. It was like a dream, I just kept going forward. We changed back into our uniforms, and waited."
She looked up at him, with tears again wet on her cheeks. "We didn't exchange a single word until we were back on the ship, and then it was only when required. I sat next to you on the bridge, day after day, both of us staring straight ahead." She started sobbing again, and a tear escaped and rolled down his cheek as well.
He held her gently and rocked her back and forth. Her description of the dream had affected him as well. He could easily imagine them like that. It was something he had feared ever since their arrival on the planet. Perhaps his ancient legend had finally sunk in. After a few minutes he managed to speak. "Voyager is light-years from here, headed toward the Alpha Quadrant. Even if it wasn't, even if they were here today to take us back with them, I would never let those things happen to you - to us. I," he paused for a moment, and took a deep breath, "I love you too much to allow anything to tear us apart," he whispered, as he lifted her face and gently brushed the tears from her cheeks, "not even you."
She sighed and leaned back against his chest. In a few minutes, when she had calmed and her breathing was closer to normal, he tilted her head back and looked into her face. "What do you want, Kathryn?" he asked.
A smile warmed her face, "I just want you - always. I love you, Chakotay." As the words left her mouth, his face dropped down toward hers. She sighed as his soft warm lips caressed her own. His hands were strong and gentle. They eased away the terror and sadness of the nightmare, replacing them with happier sensations. The dishes and the storm repairs could wait until tomorrow...
She heard the computer announce the time. Instinctively she rolled over and started to get out of bed for her bridge shift, but there was something in her way - a large, warm, sleeping something. "You have another 15 minutes at least, Kathryn," he murmured, wrapping himself around her and pulling her back down to the bed.
She reached for her communicator, "Computer, where am I?"
"Captain Janeway is in the Captain and First Officer's quarters, aboard Voyager." Now she had Chakotay's attention, "What's the matter Kathryn? I know the place looks a little different after the renovations, but we've been in these quarters a couple months now."
She looked at him and tried to absorb what he'd said. Putting her hand up to her forehead, she said, "I've been having strange dreams, Chakotay, and I don't know what's real anymore. When I went to sleep, I was in our home on New Earth."
"Well that must have been a pleasant dream then," he said as he smoothed her hair back.
"I don't know if it was a dream," she said getting out of bed and getting dressed. "I'm heading to sickbay to have the Doctor check me out. Initiate scans of this area of space, and then meet me in sickbay."
'Sickbay, she must really be worried,' he thought to himself, as he threw off the covers and prepared to follow her orders.
As he pulled on his uniform the light from the main room glinted off the gold of his ring.
The Doctor had completed his exams, and was considering his findings when she interrupted. "Doctor, I need to know what's going on. I need to know, well frankly, I need to know if I'm asleep or awake."
He raised an eyebrow as he looked at her, and then at the Commander, who had just joined them. "Commander, your scans are unremarkable." Chakotay nodded apprehensively, and looked from the Doctor to the Captain and back again.
The Doctor continued, "I don't know what's been happening, but I can reassure you in one regard. You are not imagining this. The medical scans indicate that you have experienced some sort of temporal phenomena. You are a bit older than you were." She glared at him, silently urging him to get to the point. "It's definitely more than a night's sleep Captain. You are several months older this morning than you were last night. See for yourself if you don't believe me," he said handing her the tricorder.
She and the Commander read the data. It corresponded roughly with the data from the sensors. At a loss for words, she put her hand to her forehead and ran her fingers back through her hair. "Ouch," she yelped, as her hand caught in her hair, pulling it.
Chakotay reached over and began freeing her hand. "Here let me help you with that. When are you going to let me get your rings properly fused together so that will stop happening?" he asked chuckling. It only took him a moment to ease her hair out of her rings. She looked down at her hand in shock, and then took his hand and compared.
"They match," she whispered.
"Of course they do, we designed them that way. More accurately, I designed them, and you approved the design, Kathryn." He was laughing at first, and then his mood darkened as he noticed her confused look. Reaching out, he grabbed hold of her as she began to slump. He lifted her and sat her lightly up on the bio bed.
He held her for a few minutes while she collected herself. Still clinging to him she began speaking to him in an unsteady voice, "Chakotay, this seems like a dream, and I'm afraid. I don't want to wake up and find out I'm all alone again." She tightened her grip on him for emphasis, as she continued, "I want to hold onto this reality with both hands."
He leaned down and kissed the top of her head gently, "I won't let you go, I'm holding on too."
The computer announced the time, waking Kathryn. "Computer, what is the stardate?" she asked as a reflex." The computer responded with the date. She sighed with relief - it was one day after the last morning she remembered. A warm arm wrapped around her and she felt soft lips on her neck.
"You know, it would be simpler if you just let me program the alarm to include the date and location automatically," he breathed, "especially on our day off." She rolled over in his arms and pressed her forehead against his.
"I'm so happy here, Chakotay," she murmured as she trailed a fingertip down the side of his face, "but it's so sad to think there's another you and another me out there who made different choices. I don't remember it as clearly as I used to, but I think I was even one of them for a time."
He pulled her tightly against him, and they drifted back to sleep.
Every choice is a fork in the road, every decision leads to a different reality in the multi-universe.
THE END
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